My name is Vandana Sudhir, and I am a therapist. It has taken me a long time to say that with confidence. Like many others, I once believed that therapists needed to have it all figured out; always calm and composed, never faltering or feeling lost. A therapist, I thought, should always have the answers. Essentially, they couldn’t be human! I intentionally use the word they because, for the longest time, I didn’t include myself in that category.
But does anyone really fit that mold? Think about the most “perfect” person you know. Who comes to mind? Often, perfection is something we project onto people we don’t truly know such as social media influencers, celebrities, or public figures we admire from a distance. But when we think of the great people in our lives, those who inspire us and shape us, it’s often the people in and around our vicinity. Navigating life with no real moment of recognition. Real greatness has little to do with perfection. It’s messy, vulnerable, and undeniably human. Perfection does not exist…not in life, not in relationships, and certainly not in therapists. But it’s easy to forget that when even the people closest to you unknowingly reinforce those impossible standards. During my own very human moments, I would often hear well-meaning but pointed remarks like, “You should know better, you’re a therapist.” It’s as if wearing the title of “therapist” somehow strips away your right to struggle, to feel lost, or to make mistakes.
So, you might wonder: Why should I come to you for help if you don’t have all the answers?
Today, I proudly call myself a therapist because I am committed to the ongoing process of becoming. I will read, study, and seek knowledge, but more importantly, I will listen and grow alongside you. Therapy is not about presenting a flawless version of myself but about holding space for others while continuously evolving. I am dedicated to understanding what it means to live a fulfilled life and to uncover what holds us back from experiencing it. Together, we will explore tools and scientific insights to untangle the parts of you that may have been locked away in childhood, stored within your body, or shaped by cultural norms and societal expectations.
It may never be a final destination where you say, “That’s it! I’ve figured it all out!”. But perhaps the goal is not to achieve some imagined perfection but to keep moving forward, to keep asking questions, exploring new perspectives, and navigating one challenge after another. Maybe the true journey is not about finding definitive answers but about embracing the process of figuring it out—over and over again. You may never find the answers for what you seek instead will be met with bigger, better questions.
